The moment I wish I could take back...

There's always a moment in life you wish you could take back, always something you regret doing or not doing, saying or not saying. But everybody knows that what’s done is done, we can't take back any moment in life no matter how much pain or hurt it may have caused us or someone else. The only thing we can do is try to handle certain situations in our lives differently in the future.

I never thought I'd regret something so much. It was June 27, 2009, I was on vacation in Chicago and was going back to Puerto Rico early the next morning. I was watching stand up comedy with my cousin in the basement when my dad called me upstairs. He told me to say goodbye to my grandparents because I wouldn't see them in the morning. I was slightly annoyed because I was missing the comedy show so I ran upstairs and said a very quick meaningless goodbye to my grandpa. I gave him a peck on the cheek and said, "bye grandpa", as fast as I could, I didn't even look at him, I just wanted to go back downstairs which I did immediately.

My grandfather was sick and getting worse everyday, the doctors said that his spinal cord was collapsing, he was losing feeling and movement in his whole body. He couldn't walk, couldn't eat on his own, he had to use diapers, and in a few short months he became completely helpless. But of course, it never crossed my mind that June 27, 2009 would be the last day that I was going to see my grandpa alive.

On December 27, 2009 at 5:00pm we got a call from our family in Chicago. Grandpa had passed away in his sleep. I didn't know what to think, I've been fortunate enough because my grandfather was the first person that I was close too that died. I didn't know what to feel or say. I didn't cry, nothing, I couldn't believe it. My family and I left Puerto Rico at 3:00am on December 28, 2009. On December 29, the morning of the wake, I was still numb to the fact that my grandpa was dead, until I saw him in the casket. At that moment I remembered how cold my final goodbye was to this amazing, loving man. It all hit me at that moment, I realized that in all my life I never told my grandpa that I loved him, not once.

June 27, 2009, I wish I could take back just five minutes of that day. If I had the opportunity to do it over again, I'd give my Welito (grandpa) a big hug and a kiss and I'd tell him how grateful I am for everything he did for me and my family. I'd say 'I'm sorry' for all those times my stupid attitude may have hurt him. If I could have that one moment back, I would never let him go.

Sadly, I can't take that moment or any moment back. I can only try and take advantage of the time I have now with my family and friends. I've made a promise to myself; I'm going to tell my family and friends that I love them any chance I get.

Deep down in my heart I know that grandpa knew I loved him but I know that hearing the words would have made him happy. He gave so much love to us, his family, that the least I could have done was show him that I love him just as much. My advice to anyone reading this is to let people know how much they mean to you, don't wait until tomorrow, do it NOW, because tomorrow that person may not be there.